Family Law Lampoon IV
Jim Untershine, GZS of LB, 09-29-01
Jesse Jackson revealed his plans to lead a 12 million-man march into Afghanistan today in response to the Taliban invitation to arbitrate world peace on behalf of the rest of humanity. "I would be a fool not to" said Jackson "I was weighing possible options that might be open to me after my recent exposure to the child support system in this country and decided that living in Afghanistan may be a pretty sweet deal."
The United Nations Security Council tonight unanimously adopted a U.S.-authored resolution compelling all UN member countries to sever financial, political and military ties with terrorist groups and freeze their assets.
"I could do that standing on my head" said a Los Angeles County deadbeat dad. "This country already seized my bank accounts and suspended all my licenses, if I was lucky enough to be a terrorist I wouldn't have to face this ever-growing arrearage."
Deadbeat dads from all across the nation gathered at the Gulf Coast Coliseum in Biloxi, MS for a gala extravaganza featuring a wet T-shirt contest sponsored by Hugh Hefner and a chili cook-off sponsored by Hooters. Located across the street from Jefferson Davis (Confederate president) mansion and just a stone's throw from the glimmering dock side gambling on the Gulf Coast, the coliseum was filled to capacity with deadbeat dads of all ethnicity's and religious denominations. "All proceeds from dock-side gambling will be donated to repay back child support.", said an Internal Revenue agent from the area.
Jackson explained, "The plan is to work out a unilateral indentured servant exchange program with Afghanistan. Many refugees in Afghanistan would like to live in America and many American deadbeats would like to escape indentured servitude. It's a win-win proposition. It will be the largest pilgrimage in recent times and will allow these deadbeats to atone for daring to raise a family"
When a spokesman for child support services was asked how this plan would affect operations, he said, "As long they don't get a downward modification while they are in Afghanistan, why should we care. It gives us a good excuse as to why we are not pursuing them. We get a lot of flack from custodial parents about that."
Jackson added, "I'm sure I can convince the Taliban to turn over Osama bin Laden. I intend to stay there until they do."
TELL ME WHAT STARTED THIS OUTRAGE ! !
Jim Untershine, 824 E Pass Rd #3, Gulfport, MS 39507, email@example.com, www.gndzerosrv.com
Jim Untershine holds a BSEE from Mississippi State University and has 13 years experience in feedback control system design. Mr. Untershine is currently using the teachings of Werner Heisenberg and Henry David Thoreau to expose Family Law in California as the exploitation of children for money and the indentured servitude of heterosexual taxpayers who dare to raise children in this country.